One of shaytan’s greatest tricks is to make you lose hope in the mercy of Allah azza wa jal. Even if your sins are as high as mountains, if you turn sincerely to Allah he will forgive you.
As narrated in a Hadith Qudsi the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Allah the Almighty said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” [at-Tirmidhi]
No matter what sin you’re struggling with, have hope in Allah azza wa jal to forgive you if you turn to Him, but ensure that you are balancing that hope with fear of Allah’s punishment. The scholars would say “Whilst the slave is on his path towards Allah, he is like a bird with two wings which it requires to fly properly and maintain its balance with; these ‘wings’ are hope and fear. A shortfall in either of the two makes the bird lose balance, and missing both signifies the death of the bird.”
